See you later Atlanta.

The Atlanta season is over.  I did it.  I made it.  I survived.  And I had some fun in doing so.  It was a good but sometimes difficult nine and a half months.  I made friends; I created a life.  And was it worth it?  You bet it was.

I am so grateful to be part of the DBS study.  All the people involved have been wonderful, but I'm not done with them yet, I still have to go back here and there for visits.  And the DBS has worked.  I'm not perfect, but I'm much better.  I would definitely do it if I had to do it over again.  

So I'm back in San Diego, but the scars will always be with me as a reminder of my time in Atlanta, good times.  Thank you all for all your love, support and prayers.  I could not have made it without all of you.

For Kelly...

Here I am with short blonde hair.  The color looks even better in person.

Death of a flat iron.

It's a very tragic event when your flat iron decides to die on you.  It happened to me just this morning.  I was thoroughly enjoying the power and precision of my flat iron when I started to smell something funny and then came the smoke.  I'm not sure you all know this, but I once had a tragic interaction with a flat iron in Europe.  I had all the proper adapters and everything, but my flat iron decided to get too hot.  I started flat ironing my bangs and noticed that they weren't very straight.  So what did I do but flat iron them some more, which only made them even more frizzy.  Yep, you got it, I burnt my bangs.  I had to cut them all off so I had these tiny little baby bangs that were not at all trendy.  Eventually they grew out and the pain faded, but thoughts of that horrific event came flooding back to me as I saw my flat iron smoking.  God spared me this time though, no burnt hair.    

I <3 New York!

I just got to spend a glorious week in the city of New York! I love it there! I love just walking around exploring the different neighborhoods. I love stopping at a random restaurant to have a meal. I love sitting on the Subway and not paying attention like you have to do when you drive. I love spending time with my sister! I love that I get to go back for Thanksgiving.

I also love that I've been feeling amazingly good! Thank you all for your support and prayers! It looks as though this whole DBS thing is working for me! Can you tell I'm excited?! It's so nice to feel alive and interested in doing things other than watch tv. It's nice to go to the gym and feel excited after you leave. It's nice to actually laugh out loud while watching Jay Leno. It's nice to have a smile on my face for no good reason. I'm so thankful.

Rock the combover!

This is my new hair. I just got it did today, many props to genius Drew! Does it look like I'm partially bald? I didn't think so. My hair is growing back but a substantial portion of it is only like 3/4 of a inch long, so it was time for the combover.

Things are so-so out here. I'm less fatigued and have a bit less anxiety but I'm hitting some new lows. They're not too fun. One theory is that the stimulator is making me feel instead of allowing me to be numb. Let me tell you, sometimes I wish I could go back to numb, it feels much better. But there is still hope. Against my wishes the DBS (deep brain stimulation) does not work magically and instantaneously, so I must still be patient.  I'm going to start volunteering at the hospital soon hopefully.  That will give me something to do.  I've got a few other ideas lined up as well.

That's about all for now.  I hopefully will be seeing some of you soon!  

I'm on and so are my sunglasses!

This picture is a request from my sister, it's a beautiful self-portrait of myself (duh) in my new sunglasses.  I'm in love with them.

Okay, silly stuff aside... my electrodes have been turned on for sure for a week now.  You might be asking, did magic occur?  Well, I wish I could say it did but I wasn't that fortunate.  I have seen some changes, but I'm not sure if it's just because I'm overanalyzing myself.  I was watching the women's gymnastics Olympic trials on Saturday night and at first I was jealous.  I was jealous that these girls actively got to work their butts off everyday to achieve their goals.  I realize this might not sound fun to some of you, but I used to be an athlete in my former life and I do miss that.  Let's translate that to today though.  I feel like I just have to wait to see if the DBS will work for me and I'm tired of being patient.  Then I had a revelation, I, too, can fight.  I can make myself get out of the house, I can make myself go to the gym, I can make myself be social.  Where is this all going?  It's a sign that maybe the electricity is helping if I feel like fighting.

Another thing... this past week whenever I see a cute guy I check his ring finger to see whether or not he's married.  Yes I have always wanted to get married, but this desire is stronger than it has been for awhile.  It's quite ridiculous though, I don't think I'll be marrying some guy who passes me in the airport, but I guess you never know.

So those are my two main signs.  As for the present, I'm going to continue waiting, I'm going to fight, and I'm going to check out the cute boys that pass me.

Scarves and more scarves...

Hi Friends!  I know it's been awhile and I apologize, no excuses, I'm just lazy.  So this picture was taken a little over a week after my surgery.  I look pretty well all things considered, don't you think?  The surgery was a success.  It went very smoothly other than the catheter that made me feel like I needed to pee really badly.  Here comes the amazing part... Dr. Mayberg and Dr. Holtzheimer were in the surgery to test the electrodes so they asked me a lot of questions.  They tested each side on its own.  On both sides there was a setting that gave me a permasmile and made me laugh.  They asked me what I would want to do if I were at home and I told them I wanted to skip around the neighborhood and jump for joy.  Good sign.  Then the following week I went in for some more testing and the same thing happened.  My mom was there and she said my eyes were sparkly and my whole face lit up.  It was like I was a different person.  Unfortunately they couldn't leave it on.  I have another week and a half before it's on for good and I'm very much looking forward to that.  It's crazy how a little electricity can do so much and so quickly.  I'm very thankful to have had this surgery.

Recovery hasn't been bad at all.  Sure I was taking some good drugs at first but the pain hasn't been bad.  I do look a little funny with so much of my hair shaven off but that's what they make scarves for.  All in all I'm doing very well.  Thank you all for so greatly supporting me.